So a wave of self-reflection has come over me and I felt the urge to share a little blog post about something that has consumed me for as long as I can remember and that I recently feel like I’ve began to overcome and I’m sure many other gals and guys can relate to. This all started when I did something monumental earlier this week which that will sound so insignificant to many of my readers : I bought a bodycon dress – two in fact.
My weight is always something I have been conscious of for as long as I can remember. I was always a little chubbier than other girls my age and until senior school I never really thought anything of it. As a young girl going into her teens and newly surrounded by more and more boys at school I started to compare myself to others and be compared to others by others which I guess was worse. So my thighs are quite chunky and I carry a little more weight on my stomach than I’d like, it’s not a big deal right, don’t we all? Well yes, and that is precisely what I’ve learnt. I’ve sure had my fair share of ups and downs, family and friendship drama, general life upheaval that lead to me frequently gaining and losing weight throughout my teenage years but this time it’s different.
Somehow this year I’m beginning to focus on something that never really occurred to me before. The importance of health. It’s so easy to get caught up on what you should look like and what the ideal body shape and size is that you forget about how the single most important thing in your life- your body has become superficial. Now I want to look slim, trim and toned as much as the next girl (trust me, I really do) but if I’ve learned anything this year it’s that you need to love yourself, give yourself good things and healthy things in order for that slim, trim and toned body to give you any happiness. The kind of happiness that comes from the inside and shows on the outside.
Anyway the climax to this tale I guess, is that I bought a figure hugging dress for the first time in what I can only imagine is more than 3/4 years. A dress that shows my lumps and bumps but also shows that I might have been working out a little recently, that my arms are actually not that bad and my legs are definitely slimmer than they’ve been in previous years. Okay, so I wasn’t quite comfortable enough to wear either of them out and about but that will come and when it does I will wear the hell out of that dress and strut around Brighton like it’s nobodies business because for God’s sake it really is no one else’s business. And however many people in my life from the age of 12 have made me feel like I’m the odd one out, some kind of misfit, that I’m a bad person for my body not fitting the mould of whatever society thinks it should be, it may have taken me 8 years to realise that my body is the best thing that I own but your words mean nothing to me anymore. If you don’t give someone else’s words and opinions a space in your mind then they have no way of controlling you like they have done for me until recently.
Do excuse the awfully messy room.